There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin I have always judged myself harshly. The voice in my head is mean spirited, sharp and vicious. I spent years working on myself in an effort to win the approval…
Tag: mental health
Starter pistol thought
Do you have thoughts that repeatedly sabotage you? Those thoughts that whisper and whip through your mind so fast you can’t see them, twisting your behaviour so you betray yourself and end up right back where you started despite all your efforts to do better? Today I uncovered one such thought; a barbed, little devil-thorn…
Day 89: Lesson 4 from quitting booze and Sugar. Start where you can start.
I’m an all or nothing person. Or at least I was an all or nothing person. I’d set myself these crazy, lofty goals based on something I read in a book or heard in a podcast and tell myself, “If they can do it, I can do it.” More times than I care to admit,…
Day 81: I’m not wallowing, I’m juicing
A friend of mine once advised me to wallow in negative feelings rather than fight them. I tried it many times – I just didn’t realise I had misinterpreted his advice. When difficult emotions overtook me, I made no effort to do anything to feel better. I let my thoughts bodyslam me and didn’t even…
Day 63: Sugar withdrawal feels awful!
Now I remember why I’ve never succeeded at quitting sugar. Withdrawal feels just like depression. In fact, according to healthline.com depression and anxiety are two possible symptoms of sugar withdrawal, along with changes in sleep patterns, cognitive issues and cravings. Yup. Check. Check. And check. My brain feels like it’s offline. I wake up exhausted and stay…
Day 62: Facing the fears behind the beliefs
I cut alcohol and sugar as an act of self-love and self-respect and to learn more about the demons and gremlins I’ve spent my life running away from. The demon that’s with me today is anxiety – the anxiety I experience when I no longer feel the compulsive need to push myself and ACHIEVE things. This…
Day 60: The power of a compelling reason
Woo hoo! 60 days alcohol free. Now to do the last 40 without alcohol or sugar. Day 1 without both. I literally don’t know how many times I have tried to cut sugar out of my life. I was 11 the first time and 41 the last time. Nor can I tell you how many…
Day 54: How interpretation of stressful moments changes their impact
I got so stressed this morning, I ended up hyperventilating, getting dizzy and then crying. What got me so stressed? I was trying to load an image into the background of a page I’m creating for my website and it wouldn’t work. The thing is though, explaining it like that is a bit like saying,…
Day 48: Pausing for thought
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi Some days I experience harmony. Some days I don’t. What the last 48 days has taught me, though, is that I never experience harmony when I ‘medicate’ with something. Alcohol was a tool, a crutch, a habit,…
Day 41: The Coil of Self-Development
Powerlessness sucks. None of us likes it. But we live in a world that offers enough distractions to allow us to ignore the feelings of powerlessness unless or until they threaten to overwhelm us. We can choose alcohol, drugs, sex, video games, social media and a whole host of other distractions to avoid staring into…
