Why feeling rubbish can be easier than feeling happy

Several months ago, I wrote a post about asking better questions. The following day, I wrote this: Today it’s hard to care about making such efforts. The exhaustion of getting nowhere and of constantly struggling has reached the point of overwhelm. Every now and again, dark days descend and today is such a day. What…

What is under the water?

Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your two ears. Laird Hamilton Listen to the podcast episode here. You’re in a jungle. You’re up to your waist in murky water, wading barefoot, stepping carefully from one sharp or slippery surface to the next. Working out where to place your feet is tricky and the…

I want results for me! Me! Me!

I made a pledge to myself a year ago. I will live my life in ways I’m happy for my kids to copy. My kids are adopted. They had a tough start and we were advised that they would experience all kinds of deficits in terms of their development. Many believe these deficits are permanent….

Ask yourself a better question

Have you ever considered how powerful your questions are? What’s wrong with me? Our brains are diligent in their efforts to answer whatever questions we fire at them. No matter what we ask, our brains return with an answer. The drive to provide a plausible answer is so strong that the brain will add, change…

All the power in thought

You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop. Rumi Have you ever stopped to think about the power you hold in your mind? Of course most of us know about the importance of positive thinking but have you ever really thought about how your thoughts weaken you…

How sharing your darkest thoughts can help others

Are there things you really dislike about yourself – things you try hard not to think about if you can avoid them? Me too. Yet, today I had lunch with a friend – a fellow trainer who specialises in Mental Health First Aid courses. She and I talked about work, love, parenting and a whole…

Perseverance: Lessons from the Trauma lake

Although I’ve used trauma in the title, this post is not about trauma or surviving trauma. It’s about the lessons I took from a concept I discovered whilst researching the effects of trauma on children. What I found led me to consider the ways we can shape and shift perspective when we’re making herculean efforts…

How I broke the link between bad days and alcohol

7.26pm. A packed commuter train. I left home almost 14 hours ago. I’m sweating. My trousers have ripped. It’s been a hard day. I’m shattered and I’m going to miss my kids’ bedtimes. This was the scene as I travelled home from work earlier this week. I felt broken. That was until it hit me…

Are we comfortable or are we stuck?

I used to use mottos like this one. After all, what’s the point if you can’t enjoy a glass of wine and a piece of cake, right? The trouble is, for me, those things cost me far more happiness than they ever brought. I wanted to enjoy them but they were a source of anxiety…

Day 76: Socialising is much more difficult

I thought I had nailed the whole alcohol-free, sugar-free thing. Well, maybe not the sugar-free thing. I am not enjoying that at all! Today proved me wrong. The way I feel right now, I’m wondering whether the only thing that’s making this easy is my lack of social life. We had a wonderful afternoon with…