How the story changes reality

Picture it. A four year old boy’s bedroom. 7.20pm. He is screaming and crying on floor. His mother sits near him on the floor. She is speaking to him in a soothing voice in an attempt to calm him. “Noooooooo! I WANT DADDY!! GO AWAY!!!” he screams. “Let me help you calm down and then…

I want results for me! Me! Me!

I made a pledge to myself a year ago. I will live my life in ways I’m happy for my kids to copy. My kids are adopted. They had a tough start and we were advised that they would experience all kinds of deficits in terms of their development. Many believe these deficits are permanent….

Perseverance: Lessons from the Trauma lake

Although I’ve used trauma in the title, this post is not about trauma or surviving trauma. It’s about the lessons I took from a concept I discovered whilst researching the effects of trauma on children. What I found led me to consider the ways we can shape and shift perspective when we’re making herculean efforts…

The Christmas of Disconnection

Christmas is usually a time for excess – gifts, food, drink, all of it. I love this time of year but, as someone who struggles to moderate alcohol consumption and who suffered with bulimia for over two decades, it’s also a stressful time. A few weeks ago, after I started doing the Wim Hof method…

Life lessons from 1000 piece puzzle

I originally wrote this in a notebook in December 2016. I was 10 weeks into adoptive parenting and¬†remember writing this as though it was yesterday. I was feeling like a failure as a mum and was scared I wouldn’t have what it takes to¬†build a family and give my children the love and security they…

Creating a family one tradition at a time

Family traditions – when they’re enjoyed – offer predictability, stability and something to look forward to. They provide a framework around which other parts of life can build. In families with adopted children, creating family traditions that everyone loves is one of the greatest ways to help children experience belonging and enjoy a sense of…