5 Lessons I’ve learned about adoptive parenting

They may not have my eyes. They may not have my smile, but they have all my heart. Unknown This morning, my daughter came bounding down the stairs just after 8am. She was smiling and we hugged each other good morning before she reached over and hugged her dad and they did this kind of…

How many things are pulling on you?

**Updated from original post, October 2018** This is the story behind how Big Happy Life came to be. Simply put, the bigness of my life got in the way of the happiness of my life. I became depressed and, for a long time, lost sight of the strength I had within me. It was the…

Practical Steps to Better Feeling Thoughts (Podcast)

Trying to change or control thoughts is massively challenging. It is often unproductive and, more often than not, feels like an attempt to pick a fight with mist. Still, I regularly find myself trying to do it. I’m a great believer in the power of thought. I’m always trying to make my thoughts more productive…

Home schooling Day 1: Doubts and insecurities

Our morning started with whoops and cheers and high 5’s. I was optimistic. I believed I was well prepared. I was well prepared. Just not well enough. I had prepared activities and timetables, tasks and places to work but I had neglected to prepare myself fully for what lay ahead. Our first activity was PE…

I want results for me! Me! Me!

I made a pledge to myself a year ago. I will live my life in ways I’m happy for my kids to copy. My kids are adopted. They had a tough start and we were advised that they would experience all kinds of deficits in terms of their development. Many believe these deficits are permanent….

Perseverance: Lessons from the Trauma lake

Although I’ve used trauma in the title, this post is not about trauma or surviving trauma. It’s about the lessons I took from a concept I discovered whilst researching the effects of trauma on children. What I found led me to consider the ways we can shape and shift perspective when we’re making herculean efforts…

Day 36: The Privilege of a Lifetime

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Joseph Campbell Rejection. I’ve thought a lot about it recently. Mini is having trouble at school – her friends don’t want to play with her anymore and neither she nor I can get to the bottom of what’s going on. When I pick her up…

Day 16: Turning away

I’m sitting in the waiting room at Mini’s play therapy session as I type this. For a variety of reasons, I hate coming here. This place is a weekly reminder of all she’s been through, all she still has to go through and all the complications of our story – plus, she comes out of…

It’s easier to stay angry

I’m filled with negative emotion. I think it’s anger but I’m not 100% sure. There’s a good amount of resentment, guilt, shame and fear in there too. The source of all these emotions? My daughter. After her play therapy session last week, the therapist sat us both down to talk. It seems “the mess” is…

Life lessons from 1000 piece puzzle

I originally wrote this in a notebook in December 2016. I was 10 weeks into adoptive parenting and¬†remember writing this as though it was yesterday. I was feeling like a failure as a mum and was scared I wouldn’t have what it takes to¬†build a family and give my children the love and security they…