I want results for me! Me! Me!

I made a pledge to myself a year ago. I will live my life in ways I’m happy for my kids to copy. My kids are adopted. They had a tough start and we were advised that they would experience all kinds of deficits in terms of their development. Many believe these deficits are permanent….

Perseverance: Lessons from the Trauma lake

Although I’ve used trauma in the title, this post is not about trauma or surviving trauma. It’s about the lessons I took from a concept I discovered whilst researching the effects of trauma on children. What I found led me to consider the ways we can shape and shift perspective when we’re making herculean efforts…

Day 36: The Privilege of a Lifetime

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Joseph Campbell Rejection. I’ve thought a lot about it recently. Mini is having trouble at school – her friends don’t want to play with her anymore and neither she nor I can get to the bottom of what’s going on. When I pick her up…

Day 16: Turning away

I’m sitting in the waiting room at Mini’s play therapy session as I type this. For a variety of reasons, I hate coming here. This place is a weekly reminder of all she’s been through, all she still has to go through and all the complications of our story – plus, she comes out of…

It’s easier to stay angry

I’m filled with negative emotion. I think it’s anger but I’m not 100% sure. There’s a good amount of resentment, guilt, shame and fear in there too. The source of all these emotions? My daughter. After her play therapy session last week, the therapist sat us both down to talk. It seems “the mess” is…

Life lessons from 1000 piece puzzle

I originally wrote this in a notebook in December 2016. I was 10 weeks into adoptive parenting and¬†remember writing this as though it was yesterday. I was feeling like a failure as a mum and was scared I wouldn’t have what it takes to¬†build a family and give my children the love and security they…