Day 70: Honour the Struggle

The US Special Forces say, “Embrace the Suck.”

Bredon Burchard calls it honouring the struggle.

Either way, the point is simple. You don’t get anywhere good without going through something uncomfortable – or downright awful – first. Of course, there is no comparison between what I am doing and what the US Special Forces go through but the phrase is inspiring and it’s one I turn to often.

I was stressed this weekend. I have a dozen goals I’m working towards and felt like I was failing at almost all of them. I couldn’t get out of my head. I cried a lot and completely melted down over my children’s passport applications. Seriously though, UK Government, surely it would be worthwhile having a formalised process for adopted children’s passport applications? I have no idea whether I have just spent £114 only to have our applications refused! But I digress.

My emotions were raw. They sloshed around inside me and, at unpredictable moments, burst out and splattered everyone around me. I am incredibly fortunate to have James as my husband. Aside from the odd moment where he, quite naturally, got a bit fed up with me, his support was generous and consistent.

“You’ve got so much on your shoulders right now. It’s constant. I’ve got the kids today. Just take some time for yourself, ok?”

I agree that we should embrace the suck and honour the struggle but sometimes I take that too literally and I drag everyone else into the struggle with me.

This week, knowing that I’m clearly in a bit of an emotional slump, I’ll plan better and take full responsibility for myself so my family doesn’t have to.

I guess that’s part of honouring the struggle and embracing the suck – sometimes you have to pay attention to who is doing the work. I am not alone in this world and for that I am beyond grateful and I have to be careful that my efforts to create the Big Happy Life for all of us doesn’t cost us the one we already have.

Yes, I must embrace the suck if I am to grow, learn and face my fears but I must also keep perspective.

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