Day 68: Unravelling the knots

Everywhere I look, I see things intertwined.

Years ago, I had a Saturday job in a jewellery shop. One Saturday, I was tasked with unravelling a bundle of small gold chains that had become knotted together. The task took me 4 Saturdays – between serving customers, of course. Every time I pulled one knot, I made another one worse. My boss said I should give up but because the chains were in a worse state than when she had first given them to me, it felt like my fault and I wanted to fix it.

That stack of chains is a good metaphor for life. You pull one knot and tighten another – or pull one magic strand and release three knots simultaneously. Nothing stands on its own. There is nothing you can do that won’t somehow have a wider effect.

Sometimes I feel silly writing this blog. The gremlin in my head rolls its eyes and says, “Are you still talking about it? It’s only a few glasses of wine and a couple of chocolate bars, for God’s sake. Get a grip!”

But then I remember the chains and I remember that these knots are intertwined with my parenting, self-belief, business aspirations, energy, self-trust, physical health and mental health. I remember that my choices and behaviour are intertwined with the way my children will make choices in the future and I remember that this is one of the ways I commit to doing that consciously and with deliberate intention.

The gremlin still thinks I’m a bit of an idiot – for getting into this mess in the first place and for making such a drama about getting out of it – but who cares! I can’t see any benefit in listening to that voice and those thoughts. I am too busy untangling knots.

Photo by Alberto Gasco on Unsplash

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