Three weeks alcohol free. Almost a milestone. As I look back on the last few weeks, it occurs to me that something pretty cool is happening and the ‘not drinking thing’ is only one part of it.
A few days ago, I wrote about watching a documentary called, “The Abundance Code” on Food Matters TV (FMTV) and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
It occurs to me that part of what is making this 100 day stint feel easier and easier is that, gradually, my mindset is moving towards abundance. Certainly where alcohol was concerned, any time I abstained, I placed massive focus on what I was giving up and almost none on what I was gaining. It made alcohol free periods (of which 31 days is the longest I’ve managed) torturous. I was bad tempered, irritable, and a little bit obsessed throughout. (Can you be a little bit obsessed? I don’t think you can but the phrase felt better that way.)
This time, I’m paying attention to the momentum I’m gathering, to the silencing of the harsh voices in my head and to the lovely feelings of self-belief that are taking root.
There’s another fundamental difference between my previous efforts and this one. This time abstinence is just one part of a much bigger picture. In my previous efforts, it was the picture. Alcohol felt like a kind of bastion in my life – it formed part of my identity. I think I had to experience an identity shift in order to tackle this habit and in doing so am further changing my identity and paving the way for whatever the next big thing will be.