Day 7: My friends caved


Last year, I designed a “goal achievement” strategy. The idea behind it is that there are 6 facets and that when each of the 6 facets is used to maximum effect, leaving your comfort zone and achieving your goals becomes easier.

One of the facets is “Network”. It refers to the people you’re surrounded by and the way they influence your beliefs, choices and behaviour.”

You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Jim Rohn

It’s easy to see how this might work. You have big dreams and you’re surrounded by people who also have big dreams and are working night and day to achieve them. When you get tired or demotivated and you’re surrounded by these people, what do you do?

How about when you have big dreams and you’re surrounded by people who think you’re crazy. The people around you say things like “here we go again” on New Years day. They much prefer a lie in to getting up and getting started and they’d definitely much rather watch the latest episode of Bake Off or Luther or Dr Who than spend an evening taking the necessary steps to manifest their dream lives. When you get tired or demotivated and you’re surrounded by these people, what do you do?

Luckily, the internet makes it possible to surround yourself with whatever influences you need to get where you’re going. In my case, this is rather fortunate because I started this 100 day ‘quest’ with two friends and yesterday they went to the Shard in London for afternoon tea. Free champagne was on offer. In fairness, I can’t say I blame them for giving in. A special family day out, a great location and a gorgeous glass placed in front of you along with beautiful tiered stands of cakes and sandwiches as you look out over the whole of the capital city. Amazing! Yes, a glass of champagne feels perfect in that setting – and it’s FREE! Brilliant!

So last night, my phone pinged as messages came in, documenting their decision to let go of this goal for now and start again after one of them has had a birthday (two days from now). They’re going to restart the clock on the 100 days and begin again.

The great thing about my 6 facet strategy is that there are 5 others to fall back on when one of them isn’t functioning at maximum capacity and in this case, if I’m completely honest, I didn’t anticipate my friends making it to the finish line with me. I have been on this journey a few times already and I have faced those “free champagne” choices many times and, just like them, I caved. Now I have a much clearer idea of the resolve and commitment it takes to face that offer and decline it. Because of that experience, I knew there were three other facets in my strategy that were more important than having my friends along for the ride. Those three facets are Design, Plan and You.

Design – my life design. This 100 day stint fits into my life goals because I am testing what happens to all my other goals when I take this habit out of the mix. How much easier does it become to achieve all the other things that are important to me?

Plan – how I’m going to do it. I have a plan for keeping going to the end of the 100 days and I have plans to keep using my time productively, taking responsibility for my health, my progress and my life.

You – taking steps to strengthen mental and physical health. I’m doing many other things to strengthen my mindset and adopt habits that support my ability to turn away from alcohol far more easily.

So, I’m standing alone on my quest now but I’m totally ok with that.


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