Habits. Almost everything we do is habitual. Researchers estimate about 90% of our thoughts (and many of the accompanying behaviours) each day are the same as they were the day before. Maximum efficiency, minimal exertion for the brain. But what happens when our habits are serving us poorly? I spent 25 years stuck in patterns…
Day 10: Two voices
I confess, I don’t think I’m going to make it to 100 days. Saying that goes against everything I know (and everything I teach) about developing the strength to break habits. Rule 1 is, ‘You have to believe you can do it’. I suppose that’s part of my problem. I believe I can. I just…
The Next Test – From numbing to feeling it all
When the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. Abraham Maslow Numbing strategies like food and alcohol enter our lives long before any deep and deliberate education about how to feel our feelings without losing our grip on happiness, reality, ourselves or our most important relationships….
How I gave up alcohol for a year – advice if you’re quitting for a while
In 2018 I slept badly. I was awake for 2-3 hours every night. On many of those nights, I would lie in the dark with my phone in my hand, googling, “am I an alcoholic?” and taking online quizzes to try and convince myself I was fine. I did “dry January” and “sober for October”…
The Rules for Being Human — Be Inspired..!! (Reblog)
When you were born, you didn’t come with an owner’s manual; these guidelines make life work better. You will receive a body – You may like it or not, but it will be yours for the entire period round. You will learn lessons – You are enrolled in a full time, informal school called life. […]…
Breaking and Rebuilding – The making of a mum (Part 1)
Part 1 “How do I take what I’m learning about myself and actually change how I’m living?” This is the question Dr Brené Brown says she is asked most often by followers of her work. I asked a similar question at 5.38am on 8 December 2016 as I lay in my bed crying, wondering how…
The agony of making the wrong choice
When was the last time you made a decision that turned out to be wrong? Before I tell you about mine, take a look at this image. What do you see? If you have never seen this before, you might be able to guess at parts of the image or you might only see a…
I’d like to show you the power of your thoughts
If you haven’t done this little experiment before, I hope it will make you smile and give you a little ‘a-ha’ moment for the day. That’s what it does for most of the participants in my workshops. Start by watching this video. Now watch this video. If you’re like the participants I work with in…
Have you read any life-changing books lately?
I have started the Big Happy Book Club – a group where 2-3 of us come together to talk about an inspiring, life-changing book that has had an impact on our lives. If you’ve read a non-fiction book that made a difference to your life and you’d like to share your thoughts and experience on…
Discovering the words of Milarepa
The fighting in my head has been loud lately and I have been trying to find my way to something more peaceful. “Milarepa’s advice to Palderbum” opened a little door in my mind and created some space to see things a little differently: I’ve been looking for help letting go of unhelpful thoughts and these…